Friends

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I don't really have many closed friend.
Up until my life till this far, I still consider no one as one of my kind.
There are many people I met in my life.
I don't regret it.
They hold part of my life in the past memory.
They meant something to me.
There are many kind of them.
*Sorry that I do categorized my friends or buddies.
Cause its me.*

Back to story.
There are some who are very talkative and annoying.
I just let them talk when we met.
Soon I became the only person they can talk to.
And we become best buddies.

There are some who do not know how to express themselves.
I just let them do what they don't do when I am with them.
And soon they get used to it and we finally expose something about ourselves.

There are a few who share similar thought with me,
I just let them be themselves when they are with me.
And not trying to do anything about it.
Just share opinion and talk about random topic.

There are a few who try to control me.
I do not consider them as friend.
But since they do consider me as friend.
I'll just let them be the group that just pass through that stranger region.

There are some who once a really close friend but then, we fight.
We are no longer getting any kind of interaction.
I don't like it. Cause its kinda make me feel like we are actually very similar.

There are some who don't understand me at all.
But yet, they act like they really understand me.
So, I'm not gonna reveal their not-understanding.

There are a few that we have been through a lot of time.
But we just remained there.
As a normal friend, as a tea party friend, as a hi-bye friend.

There are also a few that actually hates me.
I just act like I don't care, but I actually do.
And in fact, I would really like to talk face-to-face with this kind of people about me.

I kinda no knowing how to make friend.
I am stupid, dumb and slowie pokie.
I don't care about how the other feels about things that I do.
I care about only how they will trust me.
I only care about how they not going to judge me.
I don't even know how to maintain a normal relationship with them.
I just don't know so much about being with the others that I feels so tired.

There are a few that ruining my thought or my impression about them.
I really do not have any idea that is it I'm the one trusting the wrong friend?
Or I am actually the one jump too fast to judge them about their personality?

I kinda grown tired about it.
I don't want to judge anyone I treated as friend.
And in fact, I wish I can just be one-man-band from the start.


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 I had no I idea where the inspiration came from in this post, it took jut merely a 30 minute to write and sum up a post about friend I meet and make in my life up until now. Probably cause of the conversation made between me and one of my friend during lunch break this afternoon. And the rest of the encounter in this Christmas Eve. And Happy Birthday to one of my friend, for being one of the Christmas baby years back then.
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P.S//probably because I have started to feel useless or lonely.*meh-face*
And Merry Christmas!
Countdown to New Year in 6 days.

Diary 77

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I don't like graduation.
Its awkward.
Its many people.
Its a lot fakes.
Its triggering my anticipation and curiosity.
I hate graduation day.