Diary 50

.
This place sucks.
I hate Terengganu.
Not the weather, Not the environment.
Its the people itself.

Not sure I'm really having a bad day or what.
But I'm indeed dying at this place.
I was like I have done rather many, why can't people see what's happening ?..
How can they let such immoral and destructive thing/phenomena happen ?
I say that I'm completely disappointed was definitely an understatement.

How can they adapt themselves to such low qualities of life ?

Diary 49

.
I can't seriously let myself get over with what I've done.
I mean, I want and and I'll get it, no matter how.

Dafuq did I just said.

*This reveal how contradict I am.*

Dear life,
can't you be a bit more smoother for me ?
I seriously needed a break here and nothing have been in-the-process now.
Fighting alone is terrible.
And somehow, there is no way I can go fast.
:(

Diary 48

.
Arg !
I felt empty here, double emptiness despite all that already happen.
I can't felt myself here. Please let me sob here.
Eager to look for what I've lost.

I ain't yes something anymore.
I don't want this to finished, just like this just the way it is.
Please, send me someone who can help me.
Who can inspire me. They are not. XXR are not.
At least the current one wasn't the one I'm looking for.

I barely feeling anything anymore. Why ?
So this is the feeling of doing what you not passionate at all right ?
- Fuck it -

Testament

.
This is Tangie's testament.
"I spend time doing Earth Hour. 
This is not anymore. I suffer inside. 
Being able to achieve my dream is something so special and happy about. 
This is because :
I spend time thinking about how to make thing go fast and steady.
I spend time persuading others to join me.
I spend time finding the one I long lost.
I spend time doing what I wasn't able to focus fully in the past 21 years I live.
I spend time doing what my teacher and father dislike me doing.
I spend time changing others mind.
I spend time flying with the wing gifted by God.
I spend time doing all I passionate about and NOT REGRET.
But after that, its nothing. I'm nothing.

Tangie's life is belong to Tangie.
NOT ONE CAN EVER LAY HIS/HER HAND TO CONTROL HIS LIFE NO MATTER HOW !
Even if Tangie was to lost control or being manipulated,
Tangie would rather die than living a walking dead.
But he got too way too soft-hearted. 

And that why this testament. "

- unfinished post -

Diary 47

.
When thing just got too much to handle.
Not officially. but personally.

Dealing with environment and dealing with people are extremely different.
Not that i ain't gonna accept the hardest challenges,
I just can't, its not my job or its just not my field.
I dislike the feeling of being controlled by others.
Some more it cause me trauma and fear.

- unfinished post -