Diary 36

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The introvert, extrovert and ambivert.
How I hate myself for being such contract ambivert.
Damn it.

I don't feel sorry actually, for almost everything happen.
But at the same time, I felt so awful for letting everything bad happen.
Argh!!!!! Trapped again. Dang it.

Human's existence themselves are so contradict.
I wish I could do something to change it.

Sometimes, I really don't feel sorry for not involving, not joining any conversation or  in fact, being so-called "Anti-social". Cause I feel damn comfortable listening to just the noise created from the conversation. So don't feel sorry dude. I'm totally fine with it. I really had my fun watching or sharing the fun we had or you guys had. LOL!!! even just by the mean of looking at you all retarded-ly. Hahahah!!

So, sincerely from me, don't feel sorry for me not joining the fun.
*cause I'm already having enough fun. XD
*Most importantly, I don't feel left-out.

But, *here's come the contrast.
Of course, its not good being too introvert, I'm doing my way being extrovert as well.
And its not extrovert enough. And, I can't show it all out.
I'm truly sorry. Some kind of feeling give me that being extrovert kinda 'gay'.
I truly sorry for that, given, I used to be molested by a gay uncle.
He kinda, jobbed me.

YES, he blow-jobbed me!!!
Damn it. I wish I doesn't have that experience. :/
Argh!!! Still feel like killing him!
Sorry. Its really kinda star-struck for me.
Just when I'm ready to get into a bigger group of people, things happen.
Damn it. Whatever.
Mayb that's what they call trauma.
and I still trapped there cause I still get scare getting near to gay people.
#NoDiscriminateThough.

Kinda an analysis about me myself.
So, thank you for the consideration.